I don't know if any of you know this or not, but Holly is BOSSY. Creepers; she is so on my CASE. "I need to laugh; write something." It's not enough that I vacuum, dust, push the potty brush around AND cook; now I have to be a source of entertainment too. I can't take the pressure.
I have no imagination whatsoever today, but I thumbed through my old emails and found a little snippet from last year, when I was industriously employed in a narrow cubical at Cellfire, floundering around in the minutia of the Excel world and trying to make sense of the creased and dog-eared expense reports of our sales guys. There was much fodder there for writing, I'll say that, between my blundering efforts at grasping the nuances of a new computer program and the variety of people I got to work with. Here is a little peek at one of my assigned duties. Reading it brings back fond, if not eyesore memories. I DID love my job there, though I sound kind of cranky here........probably because I actually WAS.
I've been looking at microscopic numbers for the live-long day. SOME guys do NOT get the concept of preserving receipts in such a way as to be decipherable at a later date. Testing receipt durability by running it through the dry cleaners all crashed in your pants pocket does not a happy accounting clerk make. And here's a newsflash; those nifty yellow highlighters that some of these guys are using to indicate what qualifies for reimbursement are imbued with a chemical that actually DISSOLVES the ink that most cash register tapes spew out, thereby leaving a brilliant yellow rectangle in place of numbers. (Does the CIA know about this neat trick?) I gotta rev up my cheerfulness engine, jingle the sales fellows up and say, "This is the Reciept Nazi. Can you please recall what amount you highlighted on March 5th for a purchase at Fry's Electronics? At 1:27 pm at register 16? Did you use your credit card? Would you look it up on your bill please?" I feel especially productive as a human being when it ends up being a budget-shattering $7.58. Note to self: distribute inter-office memo restricting use of yellow highlighters. Hot Pink is optimal.
That's all for today folks. Hope everyone is having a fabulous day. Have a good weekend; I'm planning on it, because according to my Manager, I get the weekends OFF.
I have no imagination whatsoever today, but I thumbed through my old emails and found a little snippet from last year, when I was industriously employed in a narrow cubical at Cellfire, floundering around in the minutia of the Excel world and trying to make sense of the creased and dog-eared expense reports of our sales guys. There was much fodder there for writing, I'll say that, between my blundering efforts at grasping the nuances of a new computer program and the variety of people I got to work with. Here is a little peek at one of my assigned duties. Reading it brings back fond, if not eyesore memories. I DID love my job there, though I sound kind of cranky here........probably because I actually WAS.
I've been looking at microscopic numbers for the live-long day. SOME guys do NOT get the concept of preserving receipts in such a way as to be decipherable at a later date. Testing receipt durability by running it through the dry cleaners all crashed in your pants pocket does not a happy accounting clerk make. And here's a newsflash; those nifty yellow highlighters that some of these guys are using to indicate what qualifies for reimbursement are imbued with a chemical that actually DISSOLVES the ink that most cash register tapes spew out, thereby leaving a brilliant yellow rectangle in place of numbers. (Does the CIA know about this neat trick?) I gotta rev up my cheerfulness engine, jingle the sales fellows up and say, "This is the Reciept Nazi. Can you please recall what amount you highlighted on March 5th for a purchase at Fry's Electronics? At 1:27 pm at register 16? Did you use your credit card? Would you look it up on your bill please?" I feel especially productive as a human being when it ends up being a budget-shattering $7.58. Note to self: distribute inter-office memo restricting use of yellow highlighters. Hot Pink is optimal.
That's all for today folks. Hope everyone is having a fabulous day. Have a good weekend; I'm planning on it, because according to my Manager, I get the weekends OFF.
3 comments:
THANK you. I am laughing now. And it is quite unfair to equate my desire for you to write to ungratefulness. If your good friends Stacy and Clinton were here, they would be saying "Do something for YOU for a change, even though it feels uncomfortable at first. You have great talent, and now everyone can recognize it."
You know I'm right.
And for the record, I am modeling my new-found bossiness after Jen. She inspired me ;-)
Jen is in trouble, that's all I can say.....
She can't blame it all on me. It's genetic. I think you should be wagging your finger at mom if you really want to nag the source.
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